Leave those Walls Alone

Damn, it’s been a rough week both personally and in the world.  Rather than try and concise my confusing mind into a few words, I found that these artists speak brilliantly to the tidal wave of emotions that have left their traces across my face. Here’s to hoping that my anger decreases and my walls are left without holes and my knuckles without bruises.

Yoga Practice - The appropriate place to release it all.
Yoga Practice – The appropriate place to release it all.

“Never lose your fierce idealism. Let it be tempered by pragmatism, humility, and a willingness to learn, but never let anyone tell you that the better world you imagine is not possible. It is, through the power of partnership.”

Emi Kihslinger


“It’s a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical mind.”

Naguib Mahfouz


“Love is dark work; you have to get your hands dirty.

If you hold back, nothing interesting happens.

…You have to find the right distance between people.

Too close, and they overwhelm you;

too far and they abandon you.”

Hanif Kureishi


“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.”

Leonard Cohen


“Things didn’t work out because, well, greater things were in the works. It’s so difficult while we’re blind and hurting and don’t know which way is up. But, if you have faith in anything, have faith in the fact that the universe has a beautiful way of straightening things out far better than we ever could. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wonderful– or where you always wanted to be. You will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to.”

What Happens After What Was “Supposed To Be”


“I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be. ”

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie


“He was one of the numerous and varied legion of dullards, of half-animated abortions, conceited, half-educated coxcombs, who attach themselves to the idea most in fashion only to vulgarize it and who caricature every cause they serve, however sincerely. “

Fyodor Dostoyevsky


“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.”

Ernest Hemingway


“Lord, help me now to unclutter my life, to organize myself in the direction of simplicity.

Lord, teach me to listen to my heart; teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it.

Lord, I give you these stirrings inside me.

I give you my discontent.

I give you my restlessness.

I give you my doubt.

I give you my despair.

I give you all the longings I hold inside.

Help me to listen to these signs of change, of growth; help me to listen seriously and follow where they lead through the breathtaking empty space of an open door.”

Shane Claiborne – A Prayer for Transition

Early Morning Rising

Disclaimer: I am single and without children or any dependents. Therefore, this current moment in life allows me this luxury of choosing my actual wake up time and how I spend the hours after.

This week begins as any Monday should at 5:45 a.m. Yeah, I’m not joking here. I’ll admit I have always, much to the disliking of childhood slumber party friends, been an obnoxious morning person. I blame and thank my grandmother who would rise at 5:00 a.m. but I knew not to utter any words until she had finished her first coffee and cigarette of the day. My routine however does not include cigarettes and I hope yours doesn’t or won’t sometime in the future.

Anyways, I’ve decided to begin early morning rising to help me include a few healthy things in my morning routine:

Yoga practice: This may begin with staying in child pose, for say 10 minutes that could be deemed napping, but I’m hoping this movement, breathe and attention to my body and mind will help cease some of my incessant self-conscious ramblings. I pretty much stick to basic sun salutation a with a few extra forward folds and of course, my favorite, pigeon pose. (Please note: I am NOT a yoga instructor)

Devo time: For those without a Church of Christ background, this means devotional, one on one time with God, or watching WWE and eating pizza at our youth minister’s house. I have been working through a liturgical book by none other than, wait for it, you’ll never guess, Shane Claiborne and friends. The book is quite appropriately titled “The Common Prayer Book for Ordinary Radicals.” (Free online daily version: http://commonprayer.net/)

The liturgy reflects upon social justice issues through revisiting historical events as well as highlighting sometimes long forgotten saints within a variety of traditions. Then the book begins the “forced” Old Testament reading.  Yes, I say forced because readings of the OT sometimes leave me trembling and arguing with the text, myself, God, and my cat. But as someone who claims a Christian identity, I feel it is necessary to not just chalk these words up to nothing but cultural misgivings. There is beauty, truth, forgiveness, honesty and transparency within the OT and I believe the entire book to be holy, though not completely literal.  Quickly following up with OT reading, are the NT verses (background music: the singing of archangels) and concludes with a call to action and/or reflection.  This liturgy is quite challenging and does provoke action.

Breakfast and Tea: My attempt this year is to handcuff my wrists to my comfy chair before I try running off to spend 3-6 bucks at the really close, beautiful smelling Starbucks. The money adds up and it only puts my mind in the attitude of hurry. Downtown Starbucks between the hours of 6:30-9:00 a.m. is a place of 7 car pile ups, yelling, honking, and tapping of bumpers. (Now, please don’t think I’m judging you for going…I’m not…really, I’m not. I’m probably more jealous of the delicious tasting drink in your cup holder). This is one area of myself I’m attempting to correct; that is the spending of money for things that I can find in my kitchen cabinet and can learn to make.

This morning I had my Yogi “Energizing Assam Mint Revitalize “tea that supports healthy energy flow, no clue what Assam Mint is, that’s a Google term for later. I can’t say that I’m not currently daydreaming for my iced coffee with soy milk, but I am thankful for the extra money in my wallet. Along with the tea is the revisiting of eating breakfast or at least drinking it via green smoothies.

During my drinking/eating time, I’ve decided to either read one of the three books currently on my ottoman or pilfer through blogs online:  NO MAINSTREAM NEWS MEDIA ALLOWED before 10:00 a.m. This is really hard for me, because I normally would wake up and before I would run to the bathroom to pee, I would look up nbcnews.com or bbcnews.com to see if the world still existed. This is not a joke. The new websites I have found usually lean towards three things: yoga or religion/social issues or pretty pictures. Here are a few for your gander:

And finally I pack my lunch in my little reusable bag and head out the door (again trying to make my food rather than always buying it). For those of you who are concerned I occasionally bathe before heading out to my day job. I do promise that I always brush my teeth.

Welcome to my morning routine that just began this morning! Here’s to forming healthy habits.

Below is a wellness quote shared to me by one of my favorite women (Charlene):

“As early in your life as possible, choose wellness:
Celebrate the miracle of life every single day,
search within yourself for what you believe unconditionally,
develop as many deep friendships as possible,
cultivate your sense of play and creativity,
exercise regularly,
and eat the healthiest foods you can.
Live life so fully that you will have no regrets should you become seriously disabled or ill.”
–Patch Adams